Vibration

Vibration in quantum physics means everything is energy. We are vibrant beings on certain frequencies. Every vibration is equivalent to a feeling and in the world “vibrational”, there are only two species of vibrations, positive and negative. Any feeling makes you broadcast a vibration that can be positive or negative. Here are  a few things (and suggestions) that may affect your vibration frequency from the point of view of quantum physics.

Thoughts. Every thought emits a frequency to the universe and this frequency goes back to origin, so in the case, if you have negative thoughts, discouragement, sadness, anger, fear, all this comes back to you. This is why it is so important that you take care of the quality of your thoughts and learn how to cultivate more positive thoughts.

Your social circle. The people around you directly influence your vibration frequency. If you surround yourself with happy, positive and determined people, you will also enter this vibration. Now, if you surround yourself with people complaining, gossiping and pessimist, be careful! Indeed, they can reduce your frequency and therefore prevent you from using the law of attraction in your favor.

Music. Music is very powerful. If you only listen to music that talks about death, betrayal, sadness, abandonment, all this will interfere with what you are feeling. Pay attention to the lyrics of the music you listen to; it could reduce or enhance your vibration frequency. And, remember, you attract exactly what you feel in your life.

Things you look at. When you look at programs that deal with misfortunes, death, betrayals, etc. your brain accepts this as a reality and releases a whole chemistry into your body, which affects your vibration frequency. Look at things that make you feel good and help you vibrate at a higher frequency.

Atmosphere. Whether it’s at home or at work, if you spend a lot of time in a messy and dirty environment, it will affect your vibration frequency. Improve, if you can, what surrounds you and organize and clean your environment. Show the universe that you are fit to receive much more. Take care of what you already have.

Words. If you claim or speak wrong about things and people, it affects your vibration frequency. To keep your frequency high, it is essential to eliminate the habit of complaining and bad mouthing about others. Avoid drama and bullying. Assume your responsibility for the choices of your life.

Gratitude. Gratitude positively affects your vibration frequency. This is a habit you should integrate now into your life. Start to thank for everything, for the good things and what you consider to be bad, thank yourself for all the experiences you’ve experienced. Gratitude opens the door for good things to happen positively in your life.

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Work-Life Balance

Workaholics are often praised rather than looked down upon. Many admire the hard work and grit they put into bettering their career prospects. While being a hard worker is indeed a necessary trait to succeed, it’s essential that we realise just how important our lives outside of work are.

Good for your health. People who overwork are known to experience what is commonly called a ‘burnout’. This happens when too much of your mental energy is dedicated towards stressful and demanding tasks. This can even lead to more severe problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease and mental illness such as anxiety or depression. Chronic stress can be more harmful than you think it is, even if it seems to be having little of an effect on you.

More time for yourself. Dedicating all your time to work is often at the cost of the other important aspects of your life, such as hobbies or any other leisure activities. Most workaholics are guilty of using work as an excuse to procrastinate other obligations, like going to the gym or working on a potential side project. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice too much of your personal time to be a good employee. Having a life outside of work will leave you more fulfilled with what you have achieved. After all, what’s the point of having a lot of money if you don’t have the time to spend it?

Improves your relationships. Another important trait of healthy individuals is maintaining wholesome relationships with the people they care about. This could be your family, your partner or your best friends. Having the time to build upon and strengthen your relationships is necessary for your well being. Don’t be that guy who missed your anniversary dinner or birthday party for a frivolous work event.

You enjoy the work you do more. When you devote all your time to a single thing, you don’t allow yourself to appreciate it. Being able to take time off work is essential to ensure that you enjoy the time that you do spend working. The little bit of time you spend away from the office could be just what you need to re-spark the passion you do feel for your job.

Makes you more productive at work. This can seem counterproductive, but it has been proven to be true. A balanced work-life relationship allows you to perform your best when you are at work. This is because being able to switch off, once in a while, will give you the necessary boost you need to get back when you need to.

Think of all the times you’ve taken a break from a complicated task only to come back with fresh energy and a recharged drive to tackle the issue. Productivity is present in limited amounts. Use it wisely.

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Our Uncertain Reality

The Golden Buddha

In the mid-1950’s, the leaders of Thailand decided to build a new highway into their largest city, Bangkok. The highway would pass through an area with relatively low population density where an old broken-down temple stood. The government purchased the property rights to the old temple and the surrounding grounds, and agreed to let a few local monks move a 500-year-old white stucco statue of Buddha to a safer location.

The stucco Buddha was absolutely immense in size and weight. It stood nearly 11 feet tall, with a 6-foot circumference, and weighed in at nearly 15,000 pounds. So the local monks worked with the government leaders to arrange for a large crane and transport to safely move the stucco Buddha from the old temple grounds to a new home on the other side of the city.

A couple weeks later, when the crane was actually in the process of moving the stucco Buddha, it was clear that everyone involved had miscalculated the statue’s weight and fragility. At one point, a turbulent wind gust forced the crane operator to bring the stucco Buddha back down to the ground with a hard thud. The massive idol cracked open in several places the moment it hit the ground, and the local monks screamed and pleaded for all crane operations to be halted for the day. Then, tarps were placed over the cracked statue to protect it from ensuing turbulent winds.

That evening, one of the monks was still very disturbed and couldn’t sleep a wink. So he put on his windbreaker and returned to the stucco Buddha with a lantern. He wanted to evaluate the damage to his sacred and holy idol. As he peered under one of the tarps and through a crack in the stucco, he noticed something odd buried several inches beneath the surface of the statue.

He picked up a mallet that the crane operator had left on the job site, and carefully chipped away at a small, loose piece of stucco that was wedged in the crack. When that loose piece of stucco eventually fell to ground, he peered through the now larger crack and was absolutely amazed by what he saw. So he returned to his monastery, woke up his fellow monks, and asked for their immediate assistance.

He told each of them to wear a windbreaker and bring a lantern and a mallet. Together, they returned to the stucco Buddha and, working against the winds, they began to chip away at the enormous sacred statue they and their ancestors had idolized and protected diligently for 20 generations.

When they completed their work the next morning, they all stood back in astonishment and gazed at what, together, they had worked tirelessly to uncover: their giant stucco Buddha statue wasn’t made of stucco at all. Instead, it was made of solid gold. And today, in the year 2020, the Golden Buddha—as it is now known—remains the largest known solid gold statue in the history of mankind.

In today’s dollars, just the price of the gold alone that makes up this behemoth of a Golden Buddha is worth more than $250,000,000.

Life’s Turbulent Winds

As Einstein so profoundly said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

Of course, there are dozens of life lessons we can gleam from the seemingly impossible true story of the giant Golden Buddha. But, at this moment, let’s just reflect on Einstein’s sentiment.

Reality is frequently inaccurate, and in the long run, the eyes see only what the mind is prepared to comprehend and discover.

We as a species are forever fighting through turbulent winds and chipping away at the layers of figurative stucco in our lives—layers of new truths hidden beneath old ones. And isn’t it funny how we can wrap our minds so tightly around things and fit them into our own version of reality? Sometimes for hundreds of years straight before we are forced to see things differently?

So, let that sink in right now. Life is a series of natural and evolving updates to what’s real. What we know to be true eventually changes, because time and growth both demand it. Don’t resist these changes; that only creates sorrow. Instead, choose to soar in life’s turbulent winds.

New Discoveries & Realities

Truth be told, sometimes you simply need to let go and accept the feeling of not knowing exactly why things happen the way they do, or where your journey is taking you. And you need to train yourself to appreciate this freedom. Because it is only when you are suspended in the air, with no clear destination in sight, that you force your wings—and your mind—to open fully so you can fly.

And as you soar around you still may not know where you’re traveling to. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is the opening of your wings and mind. You may not know where you’re headed, but you know that so long as your wings are spread, and your mind alert, the turbulent winds of life will guide you forward to new discoveries and realities none of us can even fathom right now.

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Courtesy : Marc Chernoff

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Healing Stress

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Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s 550th Birth Anniversary

Today, the world is Celebrating the 550th Birth Anniversary of Guru Nanak Dev Ji. Guru Nanak Dev Ji was the first Guru and founder of Sikhism. He was a poet, a religious teacher, a social reformer, and a householder. Guru Nanak Dev Ji rejected the path of renunciation and emphasized householder’s life (Grista), instead of materialism. The service of mankind and faith in ‘One’ Omnipotent God are the basic tenets of Sikhism propounded by Guru Nanak Dev Ji. A social reformer, Guru Nanak Dev Ji upheld the cause of women, downtrodden, and the poor. Nanak was content to be a teacher. He made no claims to divinity or to kinship with God.

Guru Nanak (1469–1539) was the son of a petty official living in a village some thirty miles from Lahore. He took to studying the Hindu and Muslim religions almost from his boyhood, and found himself constantly involved in argument and discussion with itinerant holy men. Although he married and reared a family, the urge to find spiritual truth for himself proved too great. He temporarily abandoned his family and became a wanderer. He fasted, prayed and meditated. After many years of ascetic life, thought and contemplation, he felt qualified to convey his experiences to the people. He started with the simple statement: ‘There is no Hindu, there is no Mussulman.’ He took as his companions a ‘low-caste’ Hindu and a Muslim musician, and the three went preaching from hamlet to hamlet. The Guru composed his sermons in verse, which his Muslim colleague set to music and sang with the lute. He was strongly opposed to asceticism involving renunciation of the world.

Guru Nanak Practiced What He Preached

Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s teachings are eternal and universal. He practiced what he preached – the principle of selfless service to others – and set an example for all of us to emulate. They are as relevant today as they were 500 years ago. He expounded the Three Guiding Principles of “Naam Japana”, “Kirat Karni”, and “Vand Chhakana” that inform Sikh ethics and way of life. The principles mean ‘repeat God’s name’, ‘be ready to engage in the labour of one’s hands’, and, ‘be willing to share with others what one has gathered. His teachings fired the imagination of the Punjab peasantry and a large number of followers gathered around him. At first, they were merely known as his disciples, in Sanskrit shish. Sometime later these disciples became a homogeneous group whose faith was exclusively the teachings of Nanak. The ‘shish’ became the Sikh (corruption of the Sanskrit word). Nanak was content to be a teacher. He made no claims to divinity or to kinship with God. ‘I came in the course of nature’, he said, ‘and according to God’s order shall I depart. ‘Guru Nanak made people come to him, not through a sense of remorse or repentance, but as to one who was at once warm-hearted and understanding – a friend and a father.

He did not invest his writings with the garb of prophecy, nor his word with the sanctity of a ‘message’. His teaching was essentially a crusade against cant and humbug in religion, and he had the courage to pattern his life according to his teachings.

Guru Nanak Got People to See the Ridiculous Without Being Ridiculed

The success of Nanak’s mission in the short space of twenty to thirty years of teaching calls for comment. It was partly due to the fact that the ground had already been prepared for him by the Sufis and the Bhaktas. It was chiefly due to his own personality, in which he combined a gentle disposition with a stern and uncompromising attachment to principle; humility with a conviction of the greatness of his mission; and, above all, a kindly sense of humor, with which he got the people to see the ridiculous without being ridiculed. He made them come to him, not through a sense of remorse or repentance, but as to one who was at once warm-hearted and understanding – a friend and a father. He did not spare himself from his humor: When I am quiet, they say I have no knowledge; When I speak, I talk too much they say; When I sit, they say an unwelcome guest has come to stay; When I depart, I have deserted my family and run away. When I bow, they say it is of fear that I pray. Nothing can I do that in peace I may spend my time. Preserve Thy servant’s honor now and hereafter, O Lord sublime.

Two incidents in his life illustrate his method of approach. He went to bathe in the Ganga as all devout Hindus did. The Brahmins bathed and threw water towards the rising sun as an offering to their dead ancestors. Nanak faced the other way and threw water in the opposite direction. When questioned, he answered: ‘I am watering my fields in the Punjab. If you can throw water to the dead in heaven, it should be easier to send it to another place on earth.’

Guru Nanak Strongly Opposed Asceticism

On another occasion, he happened to fall asleep with his feet towards Mecca. An outraged priest woke him up and rudely drew his attention to the fact. Nanak simply said: ‘If you think I show disrespect by having my feet towards the house of God, turn them in some other direction where God does not dwell.’ As he himself had combined his mission with the domestic obligations of a husband and father, he advocated a way of life which allowed for the discharge of civic obligations with the spiritual. He was strongly opposed to asceticism involving renunciation of the world: Religion lieth not in the patched coat the yogi wears, Not in the staff he bears, Nor in the ashes on his body, Religion lieth not in rings in the ears, Not in a shaven head, Nor in the blowing of the conch shell. If thou must the path of true religion see amongst the world’s impurities, be of impurities free.

There are no totally reliable accounts of Nanak’s travels. By the time his biography came to be written, sixty or eighty years after his death, a mass of legend had been built around incidents of his life. He apparently travelled all over India and even as far as Persia or Arabia. His life was mostly spent in bringing Hindus and Muslims together. His personal success in this direction was remarkable. He was acclaimed by both communities. When Guru Nanak died, his body became a subject of dispute. The Muslims wanted to bury him, the Hindus to cremate him. Even to this day, he is regarded in the Punjab as a symbol of harmony between the two major communities. A popular couplet describes him as Guru Nanak Shah Fakir, Hindu ka Guru, Mussulman ka Pir. The following that Nanak had created in his lifetime could at best be described as a group dissenting from both Hinduism and Islam. It was left to his successors to mould this group into a community with its own language and literature, religious beliefs and institutions, traditions and conventions.

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References : ‘The Sikhs’ by Khushwant Singh, Harper Collins India.

Universal Laws of the World

If something is true in one field it’s probably true in others. Restricting your attention to your own field blinds you to how many important things people from other fields have figured out that are relevant to your own. Here are a few laws – some scientific, some not – from specific fields that hold universal truths.

Littlewood’s law: We can expect “miracles” to happen regularly, because in a world with 7 billion people the odds of a one-in-a-billion event are pretty good.  John Littlewood was a mathematician who sought to debunk the idea of miracles being anything more than simple statistics. Physicist Freeman Dyson, who from what I gather named the law, explains,    ”Littlewood’s law of miracles states that in the course of any normal person’s life, miracles happen at the rate of roughly one per month. The proof of the law is simple. During the time that we are awake and actively engaged in living our lives, roughly for eight hours each day, we see and hear things happening at a rate of one per second. So, the total number of events that happen to us is about 30,000 per day, or about a million per month. With few exceptions, these events are not miracles because they are insignificant. The chance of a miracle is about one per million events. Therefore, we should expect about one miracle to happen, on the average, every month.”

Littlewood did most of his work in the 20th century. He would, I think, double down on the law today because social media has opened the door into other people’s lives and given tail events a spotlight like never before. Daniel Kahneman has a related take: “Human beings cannot comprehend very large or very small numbers. It would be useful for us to acknowledge that fact.”

Gibson’s law: “For every PhD there is an equal and opposite PhD.” In law and public policy, the observation that equally qualified expert witnesses can come to opposite conclusions. There is no field this doesn’t apply to, and it happens for three reasons. One, is that there’s nuance and context to almost everything involving people, so experts can seem like they’re coming to different conclusions when discussing a variation of the same topic. Harry Truman said he just wanted a one-handed economist – “Every time you come in here you say, ‘On the one hand this, on the other hand that.” But that’s how most things work. Gibson’s law is triggered when an expert – often in an innocent attempt to simplify for a lay audience – tells one side of a story that has many sides, offsets, and counterbalances. A second, is that training and data can be overwhelmed by ideological beliefs and life experiences. This is especially true in fields that study people. There are no conservative meteorologists or liberal geologists, but we happily accept the equivalent in economics and sociology. A third, is that incentives are the most powerful force in the world. They not only get people to say things that aren’t true, but actually believe those things if it’s in their career interest to do so.

Brandolini’s law: “The amount of energy needed to refute bullsh*t is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.” Coined by Italian software developer Albert Brandolini, who also refers to it as the Bullsh*t Asymmetry Principle. Prevalent in every field, the non-satirical version acknowledges four truths: 1.People don’t like to admit not understanding something, so when confronted with nonsense they are more likely to nod their heads than say “I don’t get it” – especially in a group setting. 2. In law, the reason the burden of proof lies with the prosecution is that it’s often impossible to prove something didn’t happen. Outside of the courtroom the opposite rule prevails, and the commentator is allowed to give an opinion but the critic must debunk him with evidence.3.There is a thriving market for bad commentary because they give readers intellectual cover against their own biases, prejudices, and incentives. When many people want bad commentary to be right it becomes harder to convince them that it’s wrong. 4. The barriers to entry to publishing an opinion have dropped precipitously in the last two decades.

Goodhart’s law: When a measure becomes a target, it stops being a good measure. Charles Goodhart is an economist who recognized that once a central bank set a specific monetary target, the historical relationship between that target leading to the outcome they want breaks down.    ”[T]hose subject to new policies and regulations will react in different, and often unexpected ways, [and] also takes cognizance of the fact that, having set a new policy target, the authority involved has some reputational credibility attached to successfully meeting that target, and thus may adjust its own behavior and procedures to that end.” One reason this happens in other fields: once a goal is set, people will optimize for that goal in a way that neglects equally important parts of a system. Task your company with hitting a big sales target and customer service may wither as the goal cannibalizes employees’ attention. Or they’ll game the system to meet a goal in a way that distorts the benefit of achieving that goal. Investors set quarterly earnings goals for a CEO to meet, with a huge incentive if they’re exceeded. Then stuff like this happens.” [General Electric] for two years in a row “sold” locomotives to unnamed financial partners instead of end users in transactions that left most of the risks of ownership with GE.   The sales in 2003 and 2004 padded revenue by $381 million … critical to meeting GE’s end-of-year numbers. This is a cousin of observer effects in physics: It’s hard to know how some things operate in the real world because the act of measuring them changes them.”

Dollo’s law: In evolution, organisms can’t re-evolve to a former state because the path that led to its former state was so complicated that the odds of retracing that exact path round to zero. Say, an animal has a tail, and then it evolves to lose its tail. The odds that it will ever evolve to regain a tail are nil, because the path that originally gave it a tail was so complex. This affects businesses, too. There are things that, once lost, will likely never be regained, because the chain of events that created them in the first place can’t easily be replicated. Brand is one. Good brands are hard to build, requiring the right product at the right time targeted to the right users who want a specific thing, produced the right way by the right people, all done with consistency. Once lost brand is very hard to regain, because the odds of building a successful brand in the first place were so low to begin with. Teams can be another. Success is often personalized among one person, discounting how important members of their team were to winning. Many star employees have joined another firm, or gone out on their own, only to realize how much of their prior success was due to the unique team they were on, not necessarily their individual skill that can be replicated elsewhere.

Parkinson’s Law: Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. In 1955 historian Cyril Parkinson wrote in The Economist, ” IT is a commonplace observation that work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. Thus, an elderly lady of leisure can spend the entire day in writing and dispatching a postcard to her niece at Bognor Regis. An hour will be spent in finding the postcard, another in hunting for spectacles, half-an-hour in a search for the address, an hour and a quarter in composition, and twenty minutes in deciding whether or not to take an umbrella when going to the pillar-box in the next street. The total effort which would occupy a busy man for three minutes all told may in this fashion leave another person prostrate after a day of doubt, anxiety and toil.” His point was that resources can exceed needs without people noticing. The number of employees in an organization is not necessarily related to the amount of work that needs to be done in that organization. Workers will find something to do – or the appearance of doing something – regardless of what needs to be done.

Several corollaries exist. One is that expenses expand to fill an income. Same for expectations and success. In IT, data can expand to fill a given level of storage. My phone used to hold a few hundred photos; now it holds many thousands. I’ve taken advantage of that storage increase by filling it with many thousands of stupid photos I’ll never care about.

Wiio’s laws: “Communication usually fails, except by accident.” Osmo Wiio, a Finnish journalist and member of parliament, coined several laws of communication, including,“If a message can be understood in different ways, it will be understood in just that way which does the most harm.” “The more communication there is, the more difficult it is for communication to succeed.” “In mass communication, the important thing is not how things are but how they seem to be.” Wiio made these laws in the era of carefully hand-written letters. Multiply them by 10 in the emoji and social media intern era. I could elaborate further but no one would understand.

Sayre’s law: In a dispute, emotions are inversely related to what’s at stake. In 1973 the Wall Street Journal wrote,”Academics love to lay down laws. One of the more famous is attributed to the late Wallace Sayre of Columbia University. Sayre’s Third Law of Politics—no one seems to know the first two, or whether there even were a first two–holds that “academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.” As far as I can tell no one quotes Sayre saying the line himself. But like many smart sayings it found a deceased owner and never let go. The logic might go something like this, wwhen the stakes are actually high people within a culture have a pretty good track record of putting more of their differences aside for a common cause. You bicker when there’s little downside to doing so.  The part of your brain whose bandwidth deals with threats doesn’t like to stay still. There’s a baseline level of stress people need in their lives to keep their minds alert, and if they don’t get it from legitimate sources, they’ll find something meaningless to fret about. Many of you know a trust-funder who validates this theory.

Stigler’s law: No scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer. University of Chicago statistician Stephen Stigler coined the law. For consistency he says he stole it from sociologist Robert Merton. Stigler writes in his book Statistics on the Table, ” Examples affirming this principle must be known to every scientist with even a passing interest in the history of his subject; in fact, I suspect that most historians of science, both amateur and professional, have had their interest fueled early in their studies by the discovery (usually accompanied by an undisguised chortle) that some famous named result was known (and better understood) by a worker a generation before the result’s namesake.”

I think this happens for two reasons. One is that few discoveries happen in isolation. Most are combinations of existing discoveries that solve a new problem with an old invention. In his book How We Got to Now, Steven Johnson writes,” Innovations usually begin life with an attempt to solve a specific problem, but once they get into circulation, they end up triggering other changes that would have been extremely difficult to predict … An innovation, or cluster of innovations, in one field ends up triggering changes that seem to belong to a different domain altogether.” Combining other people’s work into something you get credit for happens within companies, too. Bill Gates put it: “Steve [Jobs] and I will always get more credit than we deserve, because otherwise the story’s too complicated.” The other – and more applicable to Stigler’s law – is the long history of the crowned winner being the person who communicates an idea the best, not whose idea is the best. A pop psychology book will always sell better than deep academic research with original discoveries because people are busy and lazy and want to learn about a topic with the least amount of effort required. My impression is also that 90% of “viral” content that gets recognized is luck, the product of just the right promotion by just the right person at just the right time.

Mill Mistakes: Assuming the familiar is the optimal. James Mill was a 19th century Scottish economist who reasoned that a constitutional monarchy is the highest natural form of government. He had his logic, and arguing whether its right isn’t the point. In his book At Home in the Universe, Stuart Kauffman makes a good observation, ”James Mill once deduced from what he considered indubitable first principles that a constitutional monarchy remarkably like that on England in his day was obviously the highest form of government. One is always in danger of deducing the optimality of the familiar. Let’s call this a Mill-mistake. God knows we all suffer the danger.” Assuming the familiar is the optimal requires extra skepticism because what you’re familiar with will create the most coherent story in your head, giving it extra credit points over other ideas that might hold more water but are harder to contextualize. Daniel Kahneman writes, ” Neither the quantity nor the quality of the evidence counts for much in subjective confidence. The confidence that individuals have in their beliefs depends mostly on the quality of the story they can tell about what they see, even if they see little. We often fail to allow for the possibility that evidence that should be critical to our judgment is missing—what we see is all there is.”

 Hickam’s dictum: Problems in complex systems rarely have one cause. Occam’s razor in medicine guides doctors to a diagnostic rule of thumb along the lines of, “If there are several explanations for a patient’s symptoms, choose the one that makes the fewest assumptions.” It’s known as diagnostic parsimony. Doctor John Hickam once pointed out the limitations of this rule: “Patients can have as many diseases as they damn well please.” His observation was that a patient is statistically more likely to have a few common ailments than a single rare one, so the push to get to one grand underlying cause can lead to false precision at best, misdiagnosis at worst.

The human body has 11 systems, 79 organs, 206 bones, and 600 muscles. The global economy has 7 billion people and 200 million businesses. So, you do the math.

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Courtesy : Morgan Housel @ collaborativefund.com

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Truths of Life

The route to our destination is never a straight one. We take questionable turns and we get lost. But it doesn’t always matter which road we embark on; what matters is that we embark. Either way life will likely get a little complicated, and bring unexpected hurdles and changes. But that’s okay. Sometimes you have to stumble and feel weak for a little while to realize how strong you really are. The following are just a few simple truths we learn on the road of life…

  • Real friends won’t ask you to change who you are. The right people for you will love all the things about you that the wrong people are intimidated by. Don’t change so people will like you. Be patient, keep being your awesome self, and pretty soon the right people will love the real
  • Cheating is a choice, not a mistake, and not an excuse. If you decide to cheat, and you succeed in cheating someone out of something, don’t think that this person is a fool. Realize that this person trusted you much more than you ever deserved, and they learned a lesson about who you really are.
  • The past can’t hurt you anymore, not unless you let it. Forgive and move on! Forgiveness allows you to focus on the future without combating the past. Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed, and moving on can never be accomplished. What happened in the past is just one chapter. Don’t close the book, just turn the page. Cry when you must and push forward. Let your tears water the seeds of your future growth and happiness.
  • Adversity will come to every person at some point. How you meet it, what you make of it, and what you allow it to take from you and give to you is determined by your mental habits and personal choices. In short, you can’t change the cards you were dealt, just how you play the hand.
  • Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. When things fall apart, consider the possibility that life knocked it down on purpose. Not to bully you, or to punish you, but to prompt you to build something that better suits your personality and your purpose.
  • Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. Keep an open mind. The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know. We all have our own unique path and feelings. When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.
  • Everything has been just the way it needed to be. In life, we do lots of things. Some we wish we could take back. Some we wish we could relive a thousand times. All of these things, positive and negative, have taught us important lessons and have collectively made us into the person we are today. If we were to reverse or adjust any of them, we wouldn’t be who we are; we would be somebody else. So just live, make mistakes, make memories, and take chances. Never second guess who you are or where you’ve been.
  • Silence is often the loudest cry. There’s always some truth behind ‘just kidding,’ knowledge behind ‘I don’t know,’ emotion behind ‘I don’t care,’ and pain behind ‘It’s okay.’ So, pay close attention to how people feel, especially those you care for most. And remember, silence is often the loudest cry. Sometimes what a person needs most is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
  • The difference between where you are and where you want to be, is what you do. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. Don’t wait until everything is just right; it will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. But with each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more skilled, more confident, and more successful. So, start doing what you need to do today. Life is a courageous journey or nothing at all. We usually can’t become who we want to be by continuing to do what we’ve been doing.
  • It’s not who you are that holds you back, it who you think you’re not. Judging yourself is not the same as being honest with yourself. Don’t sell yourself short. You are capable of great things. And don’t ever let someone else make you feel like you’re not good enough. If they can’t see how amazing you are, then they’re the one who’s not good enough for you.  Their approval is not needed.
  • Right now, is the only moment guaranteed to you. Smile through the hard times, even though it doesn’t always seem to get any better. A smile is the first step to fixing things. The trick is to enjoy life by noticing what’s right. Don’t wish away your days waiting for better times ahead. Right now, is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now, is life.  Don’t miss it.

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The Art of Mindfulness

The world doesn’t need another nasty person because it already has more than enough and there’s no shortage of rude people out there. What it needs are people who are polite, modest, agreeable, and kind. In short, people who are mindful and charming.

The good news is that mindfulness is an attitude and a skill that you can learn.  Most people, have trouble turning on their charm but they don’t have to worry even if they are not innately charming. Here are some easy-to-master tips on being mindful and developing an attitude of mindfulness :

Respect people. When people meet someone who is respectful, they will feel naturally drawn to that person. When they find someone who respects their opinion, their point of view, their experiences, and whatever else they’re trying to communicate, it will make them feel important. You don’t have to always agree. Showing respect is enough.

Show a little vulnerability. The beauty of showing vulnerability is that it makes us more humane. There’s no reason to hide it. Charming people don’t try to win unstated competitions with the people they meet. There’s nothing more charming than owning up to your vulnerabilities and rising above them. Charming people compliment, get impressed, ask questions, feel excited, and are willing to admit their weaknesses.  In short, they don’t compete with other people’s achievements. They are not afraid to let their defenses fall because they know their weaknesses don’t control them.

Talk less, listen more. One major sign of superficial people is that they talk about themselves all the time. But a charming person listens more than he talks. You can cut out all of the distractions when you talk to someone because by just listening to the other person you are giving importance to him. When someone is talking, it can be tempting to interrupt especially when you have the same experiences but, it is selfish and rude to do so. By listening more, you will earn the trust of the person divulging sensitive information to you. And, this is backed by the research conducted by the State University of New York.

Remember people’s names. How awkward it is to forget other people’s names. I’m sure you have felt that sinking feeling when you forget someone’s name, especially if it is someone you really should remember. Of course, our memory fails us sometimes. Nobody’s perfect, right? However, charming people remember names. They try their best to remember even small details. For the other person, there is nothing sweeter than hearing their name. It makes them feel they’re important enough to be remembered by you. When you’re first being introduced to someone, repeat their name back to him or her. That’s enough to emphasize that at least you care enough to remember them. What matters most is that you made an effort to remember.

Practice the right body language. Communication is not only through words  but also through body language. When talking to someone, a charming person’s body language exudes quiet confidence and openness. Their arms are open and their legs are relaxed, which makes them approachable. If you have a problem in this area, work on being comfortable in your own skin. Most people who tend to cross their arms could be revealing insecurities and the fact that they are uncomfortable.

Use the right tone of voice. Your tone of voice is also incredibly important. Communication experts always mention the “7-38-55 rule,” first posited in 1971 by UCLA Psychology Professor Albert Mehrabian: 55 percent of what you convey when you speak comes from your body language, 38 percent from your tone of voice, and a paltry 7 percent from the words you choose. Therefore, avoid shouting or coming across as aggressive. You can do this by using a relaxed and gentle tone of voice. Be assertive but without being defensive or aggressive.

Use the right words. Keep conversation friendly and professional at all times by using polite language. Try and keep every word positive. Talking about polite, professional and happy things will draw people to you. Whenever you notice yourself complaining or being negative, try to stop yourself and reframe it something into more positive. Overtime, you’ll get in the habit of being more positive, and less negative.

Smile. When you smile, others feel comfortable. Everyone loves a happy person, right? Your happy state of mind will shine through and will make you very likable to others. Grumpy or disinterested people scare people away. You never know all the good that a simple smile can do. In fact, a smile can literally rewire your brain to be happier. Psychologists at the University of Cardiff in Wales found that people whose ability to frown is compromised by cosmetic Botox injections are happier, on average, than people who frown. Likewise, NBC says that research suggests that a smile spurs a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that can make people feel better.

Praise others instead of getting involved in gossip. There will be a time when you meet people who love to gossip. These are people who talk about others in a negative way. At the very first sign of gossip, run away. If you can’t, just don’t get involved. Instead, say something really positive about the person they’re talking about. If you want to charm people, steer clear from backstabbing and gossiping. It’s not nice and it only creates toxic energy. Never be afraid to compliment people directly on their face. Research shows getting a sincere compliment gives us a similar positive boost as receiving cash.

Find other people’s interests. If you find yourself in a situation where the conversation is slow, try to discover the other person’s hobbies or passions. Make it about them and not about you. Ask about their hobbies. Do they like basketball or baseball? Do they like traveling? You will know when you find a topic that they’re interested in because it makes their eyes light up. When you do, ask lots of questions and be genuinely interested in their passion.

Look for common ground, if possible. If you find yourself in a heated argument, take a step back and assess the situation more carefully. To avoid escalation, try to find some common ground. Do not be too aggressive when other people don’t accept your opinion because they are entitled to theirs. Instead of arguing over your difference of opinion, you can agree to disagree. Charming people take time to put themselves in other people’s shoes. More agreeable people are viewed more positively than those who engage in arguments.

Do not use your phone when talking to other people. Your Instagram/Facebook/Twitter feed will survive without your careful supervision for five minutes. It is a basic social etiquette not to look at your phone every now and then when you are talking to someone, because that’s rude. Any situation that commands your attention should have it in entirety. For example, if you’re being confided in or someone asked for your advice on an issue, then give them your undivided attention. This person trusts you – don’t blow it off.

Mind your manners. There’s a reason why we were taught to say please and thank you. It makes us likable and charming. Be appreciative of those actions that others do for your benefit. If not, the law of karma will get you. Have you heard of the “Waiter Test”? If you really want to know how an individual treats people, look more at how he interacts with the waiter than how he interacts with you. This test says how you treat waiters and waitresses can say a lot about your own personality. Yelling and screaming at an employee serving you will make others around you think you’re an elitist jerk. Charming people respect everyone, no matter what their status in life is , they treat everyone with respect and kindness.

Use the power of touch selectively. Touch, doesn’t mean the sexual touch. What I am referring to is the non-sexual touch which is a powerful way to convey what you mean. For example, when you’re congratulating someone, shaking their hands or patting them gently on the shoulder or upper arm can help reinforce the sincerity of your words.

Meditate. Meditation is taking control of your mind. Practicing mindfulness to achieve a heightened sense of self. Mindfulness will help you perceive and affect the emotions of those around you. In fact, researchers at Emory University have developed a form of meditation called cognitive-based compassion training which has been proven to increase empathy.

Be happy. Last but not least, being happy makes other people happy too. A happy person can light up any room that he walks into. Nobody wants to be surrounded by negative and toxic people. On the other hand, everyone needs friends and allies who are positive and upbeat. To be a charming person, always look on the brighter side of things. It’s because charm comes from all things nice and beautiful.

In conclusion, charming people can woo and wow people without overdoing it. They stay cool and don’t make life all about them. They gladly avoid the center of attention and make the limelight shine on those who deserve it. They do not brag about who they are and what they can do. Mindfulness is an attitude and a skill that you can learn to make your life better by keeping others happy.

* * *

The Silent Retreat

Four monks, knowing the power and strength of silence, decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks. They began with enthusiasm and no one said a word the whole day. By nightfall of the first day, the candle began to flicker and then went out. Soon, the first monk blurted out, “oh, no! the candle is out.”  Then the second monk said, “hey! we are not supposed to speak!” Now, the third monk said in an irritated voice, “what is this? why did you two break the silence?” And soon the fourth monk smiled and said, “wow! I’m the only one who hasn’t spoken.”

Each monk had broken the silence for a different reason, each of which is a common stumbling block in our inner journey: distraction, judgement, anger and pride. The first monk got distracted by one aspect of his experience, the candle,  and forgot what was more important, the practice of witnessing without reacting. The second monk was more worried about others following the rules than in actually practicing himself. He was quick to judge without noticing that he himself was guilty of what he was criticizing. The third monk let his anger towards the first two monks affect him and the singular burst of his anger ruined the effort of the day. The fourth monk lost his way because of pride. He was convinced that he was superior to all others, proving his ignorance.

Why did the fourth monk speak at all? He could have simply maintained his silence and he would have been successful in his endeavor. But if he had, chances were, the other three might have continued to argue and not even noticed his silence. Some people are like this. Their life’s motto is “if I’m doing something good, but no one notices, I might as well not be doing it at all.” They believe that the reward is not in the effort, but in the recognition.

There is a beautiful quote, “It is the Provence of Knowledge to Speak; It is the Privilege of Wisdom to Listen.” When we learn to truly listen, witness and observe without impulsively reacting with distraction, judgement, anger and pride, then only do we understand the true meaning of silence.

* * *

Preparing for Difficult Conversations

Do you ever find your emotions getting out of control when you’re having a difficult conversation? What steps could you take to keep them under control? Is there a difficult conversation that you’re putting off right now?

If so, imagine the relief you’ll feel once you get over with it. No one welcomes the prospect of a difficult conversation, whether it’s with a professor, a parent, a spouse, a teammate, or anyone else. Remind yourself that while you may not be able to change the information that needs to be shared, you can take steps to make the conversation itself less upsetting—and to keep emotions from spiraling out of control.

Make your conversations as trauma-free as possible with these tactics :

  • Don’t put it off. Although it’s natural to want to avoid an unpleasant confrontation, waiting usually makes things worse because you have to live with the anxiety for that much longer.
  • Don’t go in angry. While you don’t want to put off a difficult conversation, don’t jump into it if you’re still angry about something that happened, even if your anger is justified. Anger can cloud your perception and spur you to make bad decisions or say things you’ll regret. Find a way to cool off first.
  • Don’t make excuses. If you made a mistake or failed to meet a commitment, own up to it. You’ll feel better about yourself and earn respect from the other person.
  • See things from the other side. Regardless of who is at fault, if anyone, take a moment to consider what the other person is going through.
  • Ask for help if you need it. Admitting you need help can be a difficult step. However, if you’re in trouble, the bravest course is often to ask for help.
  • Be the boss of your own emotions. Be conscious of your emotions and actively control them; don’t let them control you. This is not easy, but it can be done.
  • Be kind. Unless you’re being taken advantage of, you’ll never regret being kind to someone, regardless of the circumstances.

Even if it’s likely to be a painful experience, it could be the start of repairing a damaged relationship or getting your life back on track.

* * *

Introspection and Self-Analysis

Napoleon Hill suggested in his famous book , Think and Grow Rich, that a periodic self-analysis is not only essential for your personal growth but also for the marketing of personal services, effectively. Your annual introspection and effective self analysis should disclose an increase in your virtues and decrease in your faults besides your personal development whether you have gone ahead, or are you standing still, or have gone backward in life during that period . The effective marketing of personal services requires one to move forward even if the progress is slow. Your object should be, of course, to make progress and go ahead.

Your annual self-analysis should be made by asking yourself some serious questions and by checking your answers with someone who will not permit you to falter on their purpose and accuracy.

Self-Analysis Questionnaire

  • Have I attained the goal which I established as my objective for this year? (You should work with a definite yearly objective to be attained as a part of your major life objective.)
  • Have I delivered service of the best possible quality of which I was capable, or could I have improved any part of this service?
  • Have I delivered service in the greatest possible quantity of which I was capable?
  • Has the spirit of my conduct been harmonious and cooperative at all times?
  • Have I permitted the habit of procrastination to decrease my efficiency and if so, to what extent?
  • Have I improved my personality, and if so, in what ways?
  • Have I been persistent in following my plans through to completion?
  • Have I reached decisions promptly and definitely on all occasions?
  • Have I permitted any one or more of the six basic fears [poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of love of someone, old age, death] to decrease my efficiency?
  • Have I been either “over-cautious,” or “under-cautious”?
  • Has my relationship with my associates in work been pleasant, or unpleasant? If it has been unpleasant, has the fault been partly, or wholly mine?
  • Have I dissipated any of my energy through lack of concentration of effort?
  • Have I been open-minded and tolerant in connection with all subjects?
  • In what way have I improved my ability to render service?
  • Have I been intemperate in any of my habits?
  • Have I expressed, either openly or secretly, any form of egotism?
  • Has my conduct toward my associates been such that it has induced them to respect me?
  • Have my opinions and decisions been based upon guesswork, or accuracy of analysis and thought?
  • Have I followed the habit of budgeting my time, my expenses, and my income, and have I been conservative in these budgets?
  • How much time have I devoted to unprofitable effort which I might have used to better advantage?
  • How may I re-budget my time, and change my habits so I will be more efficient during the coming year?
  • Have I been guilty of any conduct which was not approved by my conscience?
  • In what ways have I rendered more service and better service than I was paid to render?
  • Have I been unfair to anyone, and if so, in what way?
  • If I had been the purchaser of my own services for the year, would I be satisfied with my purchase?
  • Am I in the right vocation, and if not, why not?
  • Has the purchaser of my services been satisfied with the service I have rendered, and if not, why not?
  • What is my present rating on the fundamental principles of success?

Make this rating fairly, and frankly, and have it checked by someone who is courageous enough to do it accurately.

_______________________

Excerpted from Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill , St. Martin’s Press , 2019

* * *

Overhaul for Better Life

Ever felt down in the dumps, absolutely sure that you wanted to transform your life but no idea where to start? All of us have some time or the other stood at that intersection at some point in life. 

It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to take a giant leap forward only to stumble backward.

I am sharing, here, a list of some of my experienced and tried small changes that I personally made in my life and attitude which actually helped me and I hope that these may help you, as well.

Less Anger, More Understanding. When we can understand why the other person acts the way they do, whether they are three years old or thirty, the need to yell and anger automatically starts to diminish.

Less Complaining, More Gratitude. When we look at all the wonderful things in life, the things that don’t go well start to seem trivial.

Less Blame, More Guidance. When we get hurt, it is instinctive to want to make the other person ‘pay’, but if we can guide the person to fix the situation, things are more likely to get better sooner.

Less Judgment, More Wonder. We are all unique, different, and a wee bit crazy in our own way. The best way to counter the urge to be judgmental is to cultivate a sense of wonder at each person’s uniqueness.

Less Resistance, More Acceptance. The more we resist something, the more it persists. The more we accept it, the less it bothers us.

Less Shame, More Vulnerability. Shame is a deep-seated fear that we are not enough. Yet, it’s a fact that none of us is perfect. When we accept the imperfection and embrace it, the tight grip of shame starts to loosen up.

Less Fear, More Action. We cannot reason with fear, especially the irrational one that stays in the head. The best way to make change happen is to take action and keep moving forward.

Less Comparison, More Contentment. Our life seems like a drag when we compare our “behind-the-scenes” with the highlight reel of someone else’s life. Focusing on contentment kills the need to try to keep up with the Joneses.

Less Will Power, More Habits. It’s scientifically proven that we have a limited supply of will power, and the more we exert it, the less we have for future use. So whenever possible, turn things into habit, limiting the need to use will power.

Less Guilt, More Communication. We all make mistakes. Communicating how badly we feel and figuring out how to fix things will keep guilt from gnawing away at our happiness.

Less Obsessing, More Balance. Embrace all shades between black or white, and the need to obsess on the extremes starts to shrink. Particularly helpful for recovering perfectionists like me!

Less Competition, More Cooperation. Come at things from a place of abundance and seek intentionally to cooperate, and the fear of competition starts to melt right away.

Less Stress, More Fun. If there is one thing we can learn from kids, it is to have fun. Ever notice how few kids are actually stressed?

Less Greed, More Generosity. Finding joy in giving is the perfect antidote for the habitual greed.

Less Distraction, More Rest. Seriously, make getting a fixed number of hours of sleep each night a priority, and distractions like social media and television will automatically stop killing productivity.

Less Bitterness, More Forgiveness. Bitterness only hurts the person carrying it. Forgive those who hurt us and move on.

Less Control, More Flow. Some things are simply out of our control. Learning to go with the flow helps tone down the urge to control.

Less Stubbornness, More Openness. What if we are wrong some times? Being open to accepting failure and constantly learning makes life so much simpler and beautiful.

Less Expectation, More Patience. Start small by delaying gratification with little things. As we learn to be more patient, our expectations of how/when things should turn out start to relax as well.

Less Ego, More Humility. Easier said than done, but the more easily we can say “sorry” and “thank you” (and really mean it), the less hold ego has on our life.

Hoping that these small changes that you would make (some would already be exercising most of these principles) in your daily lives would surely help you in a life overhaul for a better and healthy living.

* * *

Mental and Emotional Wellness

Life can sometimes be really tiresome, one minute we’re high up riding on that crazy rollercoaster and the next second, we’re back down where we started. All that unpredictability and madness can mess with a person’s physical as well as mental wellbeing. And despite the fact that sometimes can be hard to tell if we are physically exhausted or we’ve just lost all hopes for the future it is safe to say that the only thing a person with this condition needs is a good rest and relaxation. Whenever life strikes us with some rocks along the way, it is essential to cool off for a while and let others take the lead. Taking some time off doesn’t necessarily means giving up, it’s making time for self-love and healing.

If we are experiencing any of the following telltale signs, it is possible we are going through a rough patch in life. Just don’t let it drain you to the last bit. Stop, breathe out and recharge. We can do this!

Easily Irritated. Hopelessness is the inability and the lack of power which makes us feel more and more irritated. We should be out there making the best of it, yet we feel much safer avoiding any possible contact with the outside world. Don’t beat yourself up, we’ve all been there. I know, it sucks. But, instead of recklessly wasting your time, spend this ‘time off’ to work on yourself.

Motivation Levels Low. Feeling like we are incapable of getting the work done. We struggle to find the motivation we need. The goals that once stimulated us to work hard are not enough. If this is your case, you need to give it a rest. Don’t push yourself too hard. Inspiration is everywhere around us and it will strike us when we least expect it.

 Experiencing Anxiety. As a result of over exhaustion, we feel more and more stressed than usual. Anxiety attacks are becoming a daily routine. Please, don’t be afraid. Try to find a way to center yourself in order to heal your wounds. Spend some time alone and figure out what you need in life.

Trouble Sleeping. Feeling like you are out of the place. The overwhelming feeling of exhaustion makes it harder for us to calm our thoughts and fall asleep. And insomnia becomes just another thing on the list. Proper environment and healthy diet combined with some light breathing exercises could help with a good night’s sleep.

Getting Upset Easily. Because of our increased sensitivity, we feel much more intense than we used to. Getting upset over trivial things and the intense feelings brings tears to our eyes. Don’t let yourself suffer. Take some time off and reconstruct your world. No matter how hard it is. It will all be worth it, I promise.

Dizziness and Nausea. One of the biggest symptoms noticed in over-exhausted people is constant dizziness and nausea. Whenever a person experiences a mental breakdown this naturally manifests physically as well. However, we should prevent it before it’s too late. Take matters into your hands. If you don’t, nobody will.

Crying Without Reason. When we are in bad place in life, it seems like the whole world is plotting against us. Our senses are heightened, we suddenly reach a hypersensitive state in which even the slightest joke could make our eyes sparkle with tears. When we’re exhausted both physically and mentally, we pretty much lose the strength to cope with challenging situations, and regular day-to-day stress is intensified. The only mechanism our body and soul use for cleansing is crying.

Feeling Detached. And after a while, we end up being “comfortably numb”. We don’t feel bad, nor good. We’ve gone senseless. It is the stage when we lose all hope.Please do not allow yourself to reach this point. When you feel even the slightest negative change in your wellbeing, stop and relax. Take your time off, breathe out and start healing your wounds. We can overcome anything life gives us. We just need to take care of ourselves first.

* * *

Karma

Buddha was sitting with his disciples, one of them asked him “What is Karma?”

Buddha said, “Let me tell you a story after which we will look for an answer to this question, again.”

A king was touring his kingdom on his elephant. Suddenly he stopped in front of a shop in the market and said to his minister, “I don’t know why, but I want to hang the owner of this shop.” The minister was shocked. But before he could ask the king why, the king had moved on.

The next day, the minister went to that shop dressed as one of the locals to see the shopkeeper. He casually asked him how his business was faring. The shopkeeper, a sandalwood merchant, reported sadly that he had hardly any customer. People would come to his shop, smell the sandalwood and then go away. They would even praise the quality of the sandalwood but rarely buy anything. His only hope was that the king would die soon. Then there would be a huge demand for sandalwood for performing his last rites. As he was the only sandalwood merchant around, he was sure the king’s death would mean a windfall.

The minister now understood why the king had stopped in front of this shop and expressed a desire to kill the shopkeeper. Perhaps, the shopkeeper’s negative thought vibration had subtly affected the king, who had, in turn, felt the same kind of negative thought arising within.

The minister; a nobleman, pondered over the matter for a while. Without revealing who he was or what had happened the day before, he expressed a desire to buy some sandalwood. The shopkeeper was pleased. He wrapped the sandalwood and handed it over to the minister.

When the minister returned to the palace, he went straight to the court where the king was seated and reported that the sandalwood merchant had a gift for him. The king was surprised. When he opened the package, he was pleasantly surprised by the fine golden color of the sandalwood and its agreeable fragrance. Pleased, he sent some gold coins to the sandalwood merchant. The king also felt sorry in his heart that he had harbored unbecoming thoughts of killing the shopkeeper.

When the shopkeeper received the gold coins from the king, he was astounded. He began to proclaim the virtues of the king who had, through the gold coins, saved him from the brink of poverty. After some time, he recalled the morbid thoughts he had felt towards the king and repented for having entertained such negative thoughts for his own personal goal.

If we have a good and kind thought for another person, that positive thought will come back to us in a favorable way. But if we harbor evil thoughts, those thoughts will come back to us as retribution.

“What then is Karma, according to this story?” asked Buddha. Many replied, “our words, our deeds, our feelings, our actions, …. etc.”

Buddha shook his head and replied, “Your thoughts are your Karma!”

* * *

Personality Development & Lifestyle Improvement in 2019

Success has less to do with hard work and more to do with massive focus on your few best opportunities.

  • Why resist change when it’s the main source of your growth?
  • The more you invest in growing and developing your mindset and way of seeing the world, the more everything you touch transforms in a breathtakingly positive way.
  • Pursuing perfection really does matter (in a world highly accepting of mediocrity).
  • Spending full days with zero technology to refuel or do important work is a game-changer.
  • Doing something super-nice for at least one stranger a day gives them a gift and an even larger one to yourself.
  • Adore your parents. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
  • The smartest thing you can do to grow a great company is to first sweat getting only A- Players onto your team and then sweat training and developing them so they play their A-Game.
  • Most TV is toxic.
  • Have the discipline to clean out all the energy-draining people in your life. You really do rise or fall to the level of your associations.
  • Doing huge dreams we have never done can be frightening. Yet when we push to the edges of our limits, our limits expand.
  • If you don’t make the time for yourself to get inspired, no one around you will ever be inspired.
  • Your diet affects your moods. Eat like a superstar.
  • Talk less. Do more.
  • Integrity is more valuable than income.
  • Model Mandela and you’ll find at the end of your life, you lived an awesome one.
  • Learn to love yourself. It’s the great rule for loving other people.
  • When your dominant business focus is to deliver outrageous amounts of value to your customers every time they do business with you, they become fanatical followers who tell the world about what you do.
  • Money invested in personal development and professional growth generally has a x30 plus return on investment.
  • Real leaders have the guts to have the hard conversations.
  • Your environment (your home, your office, the magazines you read, etc.) dramatically affects your levels of achievement.
  • The quality of your practice affects the caliber of your performance.
  • Reviewing your Big 5 annual goals every morning and working on your plan every day is an exceptionally powerful way to breed unbeatable focus and drive.
  • Measure your success via your influence and impact versus only by your income and net worth.
  • To become successful, first learn how to be happy. Too many think that the route to happiness is to get successful. Untrue.
  • Getting ultra-fit lifts every other area of your life.
  • Self-belief is so incredibly important. Because if you don’t believe you can achieve a vision/goal, then you won’t even start to do the work needed to achieve that vision/goal.
  • Our biggest enemy is our own self-doubt. We really can achieve extraordinary things in our lives. But we sabotage our greatness because of our fear.
  • Drink more water.
  • Watch the documentary “Searching for Sugar Man”.
  • Join a mastermind group. It’s just remarkable what being in a room full of people who are smarter than yourself does for your performance.
  • Related to the above, remember what Dennis Kimbro once said: “If you’re the smartest one of your friends, you need new friends.”
  • Dopamine is the elite performer’s best friend. You rarely go wrong when you trust yourself.
  • Writing down what you learn works so much better than typing things down on a computer.
  • If you try to do it all yourself, you get very little done. The most productive people set the dream and then hand it over swiftly to a project manager to execute with precision.
  • Become one of the rare people who don’t know how to quit (unless it really is time to quit).
  • It truly makes a difference to the people around you.
  • Just because excellent manners are not so common doesn’t mean that excellent manners are not incredibly important.
  • Always remember that there’s food on your table thanks to the customers you are privileged to serve.
  • It’s so much better to fail trying than to not even get into the game.
  • Music just makes life a whole lot better.
  • You can change the world or you can worry about fitting in, but you just can’t do both.
  • All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and beautiful at the end.
  • The real key to getting great things done is to stop doing so many good things.
  • Small little details done excellently and consistently stack up into something the world sees as Mastery.
  • Spend time in nature to renew and refuel.
  • Less entertainment, more education.
  • Gratitude is the antidote to misery.
  • We become happier not by accumulating more things but by creating richer experiences.
  • Your self-identity is what really determines your income, influence, impact and lifestyle. Retrain that and your bigness comes out to play.
  • The more you serve, the more joyful you’ll become.
  • Life’s short. Have fun.                                                              ______________________________

Courtesy: Robin Sharma

* * *

The Principles of Spiritual Living

Are you still trying to find your “purpose?” The problem is not finding it. The real challenge is what to do after you figure it out and realizing what a difference having a vision and mission in life can make. I believe that having a vision and mission gives us a firm foundation for happiness and, therefore, success, though, it may not even be necessary for everyone. Vision and mission statements are tools; that’s all they are. They aren’t the end-all to all end-alls. What we really need to be happy and succeed in life is already within us.

The first principle of spiritual living is that we must stop trying to be who we are and start being who we are. It means we frequently try too hard to be something we’re not. Think about it. No one knows you the way you do. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it or figure out why you are being so critical with yourself. If you need help doing that, find help in the wisdom and advice of the great masters, mystics and sages without being biased by any religion, belief or faith. The key point is to stop trying to be yourself and just start accepting that you can be yourself. You can do so without reservation, approval, permission or apology.

Isn’t it time for us to see who we/you are? Isn’t it time to move to that next level of expression? It’s inside you, perhaps desperately seeking the manifestation only you can provide.

In this post I’d like to share with you some of the greatest lessons I’ve learned during the course of my life, in hopes that you will find them as helpful as I did. Without further ado, here they are:

This moment is all there is. The past is gone and the future is not here yet. The present moment is everything you have, so be sure to immerse yourself in it.

I don’t know everything, and that’s totally fine. To learn, you need to admit that you don’t know it all. In fact, not everything can be known, and that’s part of the beauty of life, which is an ongoing learning journey.

Pain isn’t your enemy. It’s just a messenger trying to show you that there’s something amiss. So instead of hiding from your pain or suppressing it, face it and pay attention to what it has to show you, so that you can understand why it’s there and how to get rid of it.

The best things in life are free. Here are a few examples: A deep breath of fresh air, a walk in nature, a conversation with a good friend, and a look into the eye of a beloved partner. Cherish them before someone puts a price tag on them too.

Money isn’t just neutral energy. As it exists today, money is creating artificial scarcity, which results in competition, inequality, poverty, greed, and violence (among other things). Therefore, money is quite a negative force in our world.

Peace begins on your plate. Three times a day you can choose peace over violence — that is, with each meal you eat. Is your food cruelty-free or does it involve unnecessary suffering and death?

Don’t trust the mainstream media. Most big media companies are owned by people whose main intention is to emotionally manipulate you in order to keep you hypnotized, sell you lies and empty your pockets.

Voice your truth. Speak out your mind, express your feelings and let people see who you truly are. Being true to yourself and others is the only way to build genuine relationships and live an authentic life.

You can’t change anyone. But your actions can inspire many to change.

Mistakes are part of learning. Don’t fear making mistakes, for they have important things to teach you. But make sure you don’t repeat them.

Failures are stepping stones to success. Each failure leads you one step closer to success, so don’t shy away from it. Try, fail, and then try again for as long as it takes to achieve your goals.

Simplicity is the key to living well. To live simply means to let go of what is unimportant and focus on what truly matters to your happiness and well-being.

Think for yourself. If you don’t, someone else will think for you.

We don’t have a true democracy. Casting a vote once every few years alone doesn’t give people much freedom in collective decision-making. Especially if you consider that what they vote for is nothing but power-hungry politicians who are lying to them in order to serve their vested interests.

There is no ‘free market’. In our socioeconomic system, you have as much freedom as your money can buy. And those with a lot of it have the freedom to restrict the freedom of others.

Books can be life-changing. You must have heard this countless times. But it’s totally true — some books have the power to turn your life upside down, in a tremendously positive way. Just make sure to carefully pick which books to read, otherwise they can be a waste of your time.

Use your words wisely. Words can hurt or heal, so always be mindful of how you speak.

Do no harm, but take no shit. Be kind and loving to your fellow human beings, but be smart enough to establish healthy boundaries in your relationships.

Possessions can possess you. Let go of your attachments to your belongings, for one day they will all be taken away from you.

Look fear in the eye. If you don’t, you will never overcome it.

Take responsibility for your life. Don’t just sit cross-legged and blame others for your misfortunes. You have much power in your hands to help shape your destiny.

Change starts from within. Embody the change you wish to see in the world.

No person is evil. Those who choose to hurt others are deeply hurt themselves. Keeping a non-judgmental, compassionate attitude can do wonders to help heal all wounds.

Question your beliefs. If followed blindly, they can ruin your life (and that of others).

Our economy is an anti-economy. To economize means to carefully manage resources and to avoid unnecessary expenditure or waste. Our economy, however, is fundamentally based on consumption — that is, on the mindless and constant extraction of natural resources and production of waste.

Choose your friends carefully. The people we spend time with shape our lives. Choose to spend it with those who lift you up and not those who drag you down.

There’s no such thing as the perfect relationship. But if your relationships are build with patience, love and care, they can enrich your life more than anything else.

Embrace change. Life is constantly changing, and the happiest people are the ones who have learned to adapt and flow with it.

You might die any moment. Contemplate on death regularly, so that when it knocks on your door, it doesn’t find you unprepared.

Be grateful for what you have. Your life might not be perfect, but it’s still a wonder-full gift. Remember to appreciate it and make the most out of it while you can.

Wishing you peace, prosperity and good health in the New Year.

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Honest Relationships

The concept of being faithful within a relationship is very important to the majority of people. There aren’t many people who want to be in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful to them. The thing is people tend to have differing opinions on exactly what being unfaithful means. For some, the line is drawn at anything physical. Kissing, intimate touching, and sex all constitute cheating for them. For others, emotional cheating is just as bad – or even worse. That means being emotionally intimate with another person, flirting with them, talking about or actually having feelings for them, and so on.

In my opinion, the line between staying faithful and infidelity is pretty simple and doesn’t need to be complicated. To me, being unfaithful constitutes doing anything with another person that you wouldn’t do with your partner present. If you do something that you wouldn’t have done in full view of your partner, you’re being unfaithful to some extent.

Whether it’s a glance at another person that lingers too long, flirting, or kissing another person, the fact that you’re doing something you just wouldn’t do in front of your partner means you’re not being the honest version of yourself around them. You’re holding back, showing them one side of you while being capable of doing other things behind their back. That dishonesty of character, in my eyes, constitutes being unfaithful. Unfaithfulness to your partner, unfaithfulness to your relationship, and unfaithfulness to the trust and honesty that any relationship needs are detrimental to all relationships.

I’d argue that this definition even applies to things in life that don’t constitute cheating. If you’re hiding part of yourself, part of your life, from your partner, and not telling them about it, you’re not being honest with them. You’re being unfaithful to the relationship. They don’t really know the real, full you like they think they do.

You’re someone else when you know they’re not watching.

Staying faithful to your partner isn’t just about not jumping into bed with another person. It’s about consistently holding yourself to the same standards of behavior that you would if your partner was right there next to you. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who changes when they’re not there. Being faithful means holding yourself accountable for your actions and behavior.

You always have a choice as to how you behave. If your relationship means as much to you as a healthy relationship should, then control yourself and aim to always be the same, consistent version of yourself – regardless of whether or not there’s anyone watching.

Being faithful means that you choose your partner, every minute, every second of every day. It means being honest, being consistent, and being the same version of yourself no matter the circumstances.

When you have a relationship where this expectation is made clear by both parties, you have a strong, trusting bond as a foundation to build on. The confidence in your partner you feel when you know how much being totally faithful means to them will take you a long way in life, no matter how hard things get.

If you love someone, treat them with the respect they deserve.

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