There are many people who enjoy frustration or being frustrated. Do you enjoy being frustrated? There are many people who enjoy being miserable. In fact, they cannot tolerate happiness at all. When they are miserable they are happy, when they are happy they are actually feeling very miserable. Whenever they are miserable they gain sympathy, attention. Whenever they are happy nobody shows any sympathy, ”people become jealous of their happiness”. They think when they are happy even their friends become jealous and inimical and when they are unhappy everybody is a friend, everybody sympathizes with them, even their enemies sympathise with them. When they are happy nobody pays any attention to them. People avoid them. In fact, they start thinking you must be mad. Happy? Who has ever heard of anybody being happy? Only when you are unhappy they accept you. Then they think everything is okay, because this is how things have to be. And people enjoy their unhappiness. They now pay attention to you because whenever you are unhappy they can compare themselves, and deep down they can feel good.
What is frustration and how does one get frustrated? When you feel frustrated you think that the whole universe is against you and everything in existence is doing something wrong to you. You can go on fighting with frustration but nothing will help, you will become more and more frustrated. Any asking will be asking for too much. Don’t ask, just be. And then you will be surprised, whatsoever happens is good; you have no way to judge it.
Let’s understand this with the help of an example. Suppose you are expecting a profit of ten thousand dollars on a business deal you have just struck but you end up earning only five thousand dollars – you feel frustrated. If you were not expecting any specific figure but only doing your best and as an outcome you got five thousand dollars as profit – you will be full of joy, thankfulness and gratitude.
Frustration is the shadow of expectation. If you don’t want to be frustrated, don’t expect. Expectations bring frustration. If you expect too much, you will be frustrated. Don’t expect, and you will see your whole life becomes a joy. Expect, and your whole life becomes a hell. Expectation is the cause. If you want to change, never start by the effect, start by the cause. Frustration is the effect. Whenever you are feeling miserable, go into it and find out where the cause is. If you want to drop the effect then avoid the cause; then become aware, more and more aware.
If you love frustration, then go into it. Become more artistic about it, decorate it a little more; make new possibilities, new doors to become more frustrated. If you don’t enjoy it, then there is no problem. Just go deep into it, watch what’s wrong, and you will find some expectation hidden deep somewhere.
Drop expectations. Whenever you expect, you are asking for frustration. Live without expectations and there will be no frustration. Let go of expectations. When you have expectations of something — a person, an experience, a vacation, a job, a book — you put it in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. You set up an idealized version of the thing (or person) and then try to fit the reality into this ideal, and are often disappointed. Instead, try to experience reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is, and be happy that it is.
” Do your duty and be detached from its outcome, do not be driven by the end product, enjoy the process of getting there” – The Bhagvad Gita
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